I can hear the pain you are in, and how I wish I can be there to pray with you. Without being able to minister to you in person, it is difficult for me to offer anything concrete here. I recommend you to speak to a priest or prayer minister directly to receive prayer and advice.
Here I will state a few things in general.
It is clear that in the gospel, Jesus commanded us to forgive in no uncertain terms. Some of the most memorable sayings include: “forgive seventy times seven times”, “if someone strikes your right cheek, turn the other cheek as well”, “love your enemies”, etc. St. Paul, too, in Romans 12, said as much.
However, at the same time, we have Jesus repeatedly spoke sternly against the Pharisees and scribes, turned over the tables and drove out the animals of the money changers in the temple, and rebutted the soldier who hit him when he was tried by the chief priest.
Clearly either Jesus did not follow his own teaching, or there is something more about forgiveness.
First of all, forgiveness is not reconciliation. Reconciliation requires both parties to be willing to put away the animosity, apologies made and forgiveness offered.
Forgiveness is also not acting as if nothing wrong has taken place. This is not helpful to the offender, as it would be a tacit approval of his wrongdoings, and hence enable him to continue in his harmful action.
Forgiveness also does not mean we endlessly subject ourselves to abuse.
Forgiveness is to realize that the person who causes the offence is a slave to sin and/or ignorance. He is heading the wrong direction away from God and true happiness. These are the ones that God left the ninety-nine to seek and bring back. Forgiveness is then our unconditional, unilateral choice to call these our brothers and sisters back to goodness, decency, and if possible, to God. This requires a lot of prayer, fasting, and patience.
And whenever possible, at the opportune moment, just like Jesus, we may need to speak up to point out the injustice and unreasonableness of the offender, not out of wrath or retaliation, but to testify to the truth, that others may realize it and change. And this is why it is necessary to convict those who have committed crime, to put them behind bars, for sometimes the only way for an offender to repent is by facing the just consequences of their action.
St. Paul in Romans 12 insisted on not letting ourselves conquered by evil, but to conquer evil with good. We must do all we can not to curse, retaliate, or give up on the conversion of those who hurt us.
Paul’s insistence on conquering evil with good also means we need God’s wisdom and discernment in knowing when to do what. For example,when there is no respect, I may have to say no to people, for my yes may mean it is okay for them to continue hurting other people. Yet at another time, it may be necessary for me to endure suffering because they simply don’t know what they are doing because I’m dealing with a dementia person, or maybe a very lost soul.
Come Holy Spirit, give us wisdom and guide us. Enlighten those who do not know you. Convert us all!